Monday- Forecasts predict 2 – 18 inches. There are two groups of people: the “I’ll believe it when I see it” folks and the “I’m so excited, I’m going to check the weather every hour” group. (In case you’re wondering, I’m in group B.)
Tuesday- You’re smarter than the average Richmonder. You head to the grocery stores for provisions now instead of waiting until the last minute. You pat yourself on the back for being so smart because you won’t be in line at the grocery store like everyone else.
Wednesday- Life as usual…except it might snow this weekend. There is a massive online trading market for buying and selling kid-size snow boots, snow bibs and gloves. Current rate for a snow bib, size 7: $15.
Thursday morning- Forecasters are a little more sure of themselves, narrowing it down to 6-12 inches depending on where you look. Will there be sleet? Will it be all snow? Nobody knows, but snow is definitely happening. A group of people break off from the “I’ll believe it when I see it” group to become “Everybody sucks, stop panicking, why are you going to eat milk sandwiches? Also Richmonders can’t drive.” This group is usually from the north. Regardless, there is no more bread or milk. School is preemptively canceled.
Thursday night- You realize your plan to stock up was ridiculous. There is no cereal. You’re out of milk. You realize there is no such thing as “stocking up” on food when you have kids. If you buy extra groceries, they will eat it in the same amount of time as if you had just bought a regular amount. How did they drink a gallon of milk in two days? You’re not quite sure, but you head to the most expensive grocery store there is to stock up on $6.00 half gallons of milk because you know they’re the only ones who are going to have anything left.
Friday morning- The snow is supposed to start! The kids wait not-so-patiently for the first flake. Hurry! The snow starts falling! Mimosas for the adults and hot cocoa for the kids! Everyone goes outside. There is coloring and movie watching. Naps are taken. So many naps are taken. You bake stuff. Hurray for a day off of school.
Friday night- Sleet. Depression sets in. There is no group of people who likes sleet. Sleet sucks. The snow was fun though.
Saturday morning Cue the sound of children fighting over an iPad. Somebody hits someone else (who probably deserved it). It’s snowing again, but the ice overnight packed down the 6 inches of snow to about 3 + 1 inch of ice on top. Gross. Now you’re really stuck because ice is way worse than snow. Damn that ice. The only one brave enough to go out is the cat. Probably to get away from the children.
Also, you’re out of cereal.
